Funny Jokes About Nine Fingered People

If you are looking for some jokes to tell your friends, you are on the right page. We have all forgotten a punchline in the middle of a joke or cracked a bad one. But that's no reason to be embarrassed. There are times when you need to quickly lighten up the mood or impress someone with your sense of humor. And some witty, punny (if that's even a word), and sarcastic jokes always come in handy in these situations. Here's a list of 101 jokes that will trigger some giggles among your friend circle. Swipe up.

Good Jokes To Tell Your Friends

1. What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!
4. Grandma: Back in our days, you could buy bread, milk, soaps, spices, eggs, meat, all for a dollar.
   Little Kid: You can't do that now. They have CCTVs everywhere!
5. When your teacher asks "Where's your homework?" It took a sick day. It had too many problems.
6. You can't trust atoms. They make up everything!
7. Why won't it hurt if you hit your friend with a 2-liter of soda? Because it's a soft drink!
8. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties? He was a fun-gi!
9. What has four wheels and flies? Garbage truck
10. I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
11.  What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
12. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
13. Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
14. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
15. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.

Check out some dumb, silly jokes in our next section and reward your friend with some gratifying laughter. Scroll down.

Dumb Jokes To Tell Your Friends

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1. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
2. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered.
3. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
4. There are two types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
5. What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
6. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot!
7. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
8. A nurse told me, "Sorry for the wait!" I replied, "It's alright, I'm patient."
9. Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing.
10. I'm terrified of elevators, so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
11. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
12. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr!
13. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "Get out of here!", shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."
14. Can February March? No, but April May!
15. What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog!

Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends At School

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1. Why was the torch happy? It was lit.
2. What gets more wet the more it dries? A towel!
3. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it did not peel well.
4. Why should you never trust stairs? They're always up to something.
5. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you deserve.
6. A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and … cola."
   "Why the big pause?", asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not sure; I was born with them."
7. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
8. Why were the parents so afraid of the energy drink? It was a Monster!
9. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunder pants
10. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
11. What do pampered cows produce? Spoiled milk.
12. Why did the cat run away from the tree? It was afraid of the bark!
13. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator
14. What does a house wear? Address!
15. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!

You can never know what reaction your jokes will get. Your friends will not know whether to groan or laugh when you share these funny, stupid jokes.

Stupid Jokes To Tell Your Friends

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1. The first rule of the Alzheimer's club is… Wait, where are we again?
2. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles.
3. Why did the farmer win an award? He was out standing in his field!
4. I told my doctor that I had broken my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
5. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
6. Just went to an emotional wedding — even the cake was in tiers.
7. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much since I procrastinate so much. I told them, "Just you wait!"
8. How much teddy bears never want to eat anything? Because they're always stuffed.
9. What's a plant's favorite drink? Root beer!
10. Who cleans the ocean? Mer-maids!
11. A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway.
12. Just finished a box of Corn Flakes. You can check out my cereal killer Netflix special next Tuesday.
13. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
14. I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
15. I invented a new word! Plagiarism!

Read our next section for some funny and corny knock-knock jokes to keep everyone guessing. These jokes will actually knock your friends' socks off. Let's check them out!

Funny 'Knock Knock' Jokes To Tell Your Friends

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1. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Candice. Candice who? Candice door open, or am I stuck out here?
2. Knock knock. Who's there? Jimmy. Jimmy who? Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care!
3. Knock knock. Who's there? Amish. Amish who? Really? You don't look like a shoe.
4. Knock, knock. Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peep hole and find out.
5. Knock, knock Who's there? Nun Nun who? Nun of your business!
6. Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in it's cold out here.
7. Knock knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use. I forgot my name again!
8. Knock knock. Who's there? Closure. Closure who? Closure mouth while you're chewing!
9. Knock, knock. Who's there? Alice. Alice who? Alice fair in love and war.
10. Knock knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive, you and I don't care who knows it!
11. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you—hand over the cash!
12. Knock, knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who? Euripides clothes, you pay for them!
13. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Stopwatch Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and pay attention!
14. Knock knock. Who's there? Rhino! Rhino who? Rhino, every knock knock joke there is!
15. Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, there's no point!

Want to bring a smile face to your friend's face? Why not play around with some jokes over texts to maintain connection and make them laugh away their problems.

Jokes To Tell Your Friends Over Text

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1. What do you call the process of aging for snowmen? Evaporation.

2. A good friend can finish your sentences… a best friend will do the same, but make it sound 10 times dirtier

3. Father: Son, did you give fresh water to your pet goldfish?
   Son: Nope. They are yet to finish the water which I gave to them last week!

4. Kid: Where do pirates go when they are sick?
   Dad: Where?
   Kid: They go to the dock!

5. Wife: Here, look at that drunk guy. We were supposed to get married 10 years ago.
   Me: Wow, he is still celebrating. Lucky guy!

6. Boy: How many lips does a flower have?
   Dad: How many?
   Boy: Tu-lips!

7. Boy: How does a squid prepare itself for battle?
   Me: How?
   Boy: It goes to a battle well-armed!

8. Student: Do you know what you will get if you ever cross a vampire with a snowman?
   Teacher: I don't know? What will you get?
   Student: You will get a frost bite!

9. What do you have when both your son and daughter text you to lend them $100 each? You have $200 and two unread messages on your cell phone!

10. What did I reply when my wife texted that she is having a terribly stressful day at work and is losing her entire mind? I texted back, 'Relax. It's just in your head'.

11. What did the college student do when he needed to get in-text citations for his paper on insurance and finance? He decided that he would get a quote!

12. Me: It's movie night. Are we having any friends over?
    Rick: Ten people are coming. We need thirteen more.
    Me: Why?
    Rick: Because it is a 13+ movie.

13. Father: Son, did you give fresh water to your pet goldfish?
    Son: Nope. They are yet to finish the water which I gave to them last week!

14. Little boy: Which is the only instrument that is an absolute favorite among all skeletons?
    Little girl: No idea. What is it?
    Little boy: It is a trom-bone!

15. Husband: What is the best way to define a pile made out of simply cats?
    Wife: What do you call it?
    Husband: You must call it a meow-ntain!

Here are a few April Fools' Day jokes to tell your friends that are actually believable. They are not mean, over the top, or make anyone cry. Use our ideas and freak out (or laugh either way) your friends, peers, and roommates.

April Fools' Day Jokes To Tell Your Friends

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1. A and C were going to prank their friend…But they just letter B.
2. Why was everyone so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a long 31-day March.
3. What's the biggest difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool's Day? On one, you're thankful, but on the other, you're prankful.
4. I'm going to pull an April Fools' Day prank on my landlord by not paying rent. Rent isn't due today; you're just kidding!
5. Who needs a day for the fools when you're surrounded by them all year?
6. April 1 is named April Fools' Day after Steve April. He was born on the 1st of April back in 1579. He ran many businesses and was actually quite prosperous in his ventures, but he lost all of his father's assets late in his life. After this, everyone started calling him the father of fools. At one point, he even married a woman who's older than him, and she divorced Steve because he was so foolish. He used to read and believe all kinds of fake stories, just like you are now. Happy April Fools' Day, you gullible fool.
7.  April Fools' Day is canceled this year because everything after March of 2020 has been a prank.
8. I would wish you a happy birthday, but I can't tell if you're lying about being born on April 1.
9. Who needs April Fools' when your whole life is a joke?
10. I don't always joke on April Fools' Day. Just kidding, I do.
11. The easiest targets to prank on April Fools' Day? People born on March 31. Why? Because they were literally born yesterday.
12. April 1: The only day people question whether the internet is lying to them.
13. You should know that no one understood it was an April Fools' joke… Because no one expected you to have a sense of humor.
14. What did April Fools' Day say after it won an award? Prank you!
15. Which day of the year do monkeys like best? The first of Ape-ril!

If you often fall short of jokes to tell your friends, the above options can give you some good ideas. Whether they are some simple dumb, silly jokes or some clever, witty puns, make sure your jokes are age, place, and time appropriate. While it is okay to tease your friends through jokes sometimes, pay attention to the fact that they are well-meaning and not offensive or rude. Speak in a natural, effortless way to let your friends revel in some light-hearted moments and fondly indulge with you in the fun and laughter.

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